Anyway, two weeks ago episode 6, titled “6955 kHz”, started out in Maine!

Here’s the Stockton Harbor intertitle, in the show’s 3D graphic style:

Now, to be picky, Stockton Harbor is actually only a body of water; the land near the harbor would probably be Stockton Springs or maybe Searsport.

Anyway, we meet our intrepid lighthouse keeper, who I have named “Mr. Bad Accent”:

“You cahn’t get theyah from heeah …”

Then the lighthouse keeper turns on his MacBook and all hell breaks loose:

Just as we think he’s dead, he pops up; but something’s wrong. He’s all slack-jawed and confused, and thus we begin tonight’s episode …

I don’t want to make fun of Fringe, it’s a clever show, but I have a few squabbles with the portrayal of my state in the show.

First off, bad accent. Baaaaad. But that’s almost to be expected when Maine’s on film. The majority of the audience won’t even know it’s bad.

Besides, the next location for the episode was Chinatown, and I have no idea how their accents were. Probably laughable. But I don’t know!

Secondly, lighthousekeepers? Didn’t that go the way of dial-up internet years ago?

Thirdly, his outfit. Why does everyone think that Mainers wear knit hats and wool sweaters all of the time? I blame L.L. Bean. Outdoorsman bastards!

Overall, it was a so-so episode, borrowing heavily from its cousin Lost (seriously, a radio loop of pre-recorded numbers? You barely explained that shit in Lost!) But I like the ideas of The First People. Very Zecharia Sitchin-meets-fifth sun. I like.

The one thing that I am glad about, and have been in the weeks since photography wrapped, is that everyone lived.

Actors, to clarify, all of the actors lived. Most of the characters appear not to have.

The West Wing wasn’t so lucky, remember when John Spencer died mid-way through the final season (see Leo McGarry has died.)? And they even had a flash-forward in the season opener, that could have been bad news for them.

But in a show like Lost, an untimely death would have been devastating.

Most of it was useless info, but then there was this bit:

the most exciting bit of news for series fans might be that Disney is considering turning the island attraction at Disneyland (once the ‘Swiss Family Robinson’ Tree House, later a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’-themed scene). Yes, ‘Lost Island.’ Theme park fans should stay tuned.

Awesome!

The problem is … it doesn’t make sense.

See, Disneyland (in California) had a Swiss Family Treehouse that turned into Tarzan’s Treehouse about a decade ago. No Pirates to be seen.

In case they messed up their coasts, Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdon (in Florida) has a Swiss Family Treehouse that’s still Swiss.

The Pirate Treehouse just doesn’t exist.

I think the attraction to which they are referring is actually Disneyland’s Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island.

In 2007 the island, formerly all Tom Sawyery, was invaded by Pirates for the release of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. They still haven’t left yet.

It’d be relatively cheap to overlay Lost on the island, and it’d be a huuuugggggeee draw. Especially for the repeat crowd in Southern California.

Yep, Sawyer on Tom Sawyer’s Island? Let the in-jokes begin …

So I’ve finally had some time to think about “Lighthouse”, this week’s episode of Lost.

In fact, I went back and took a screenshot of the dial in the lighthouse, specifically, who was Candidate #108:

It appears to me that someone named “Wallace” must factor in heavily to the show. But as the name’s crossed out, it must be someone who’s dead, right?

My first guess? Biggie Smalls.

Yes, rapper Notorious B.I.G.’s real name was “Christopher Wallace”. And he’s dead.

But what would the Island want with him? He’d probably bring Puff Daddy along, and who really needs that kind of drama?

So we move to our second choice – William Wallace.

Hey, if you were stuck on a jungle island with a smoke monster, wouldn’t you want Braveheart around?

Third choice? Surprisingly Wallace of “Wallace and Gromit” fame.

Although I’m not sure he’s dead, so he might not qualify.

Another Wallace who is dead, and who really should have been shipped off to an island somewhere, is George Wallace, racist, er … “segregationist” governor of Alabama.

Although if he ended up on the island, he’d probably be able to walk again. Don’t know if we need that.

And lastly, for the Mainers out there, I present Senate Minority then Majority Leader Wallace H. White, Jr. Not much to say there, except I like to throw a little history at you, on occasion.

So who do you think it is? Or was Candidate #108 merely a ruse to get Hurley and Jack into the Lighthouse? I’m sure we’ll find out soon …