That’s why I enjoyed this Washington Post article: “Five myths about why the South seceded.”

Because as we get closer to April and the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Fort Sumter we’re going to see more of this revisionist bullshit.

Key quote:

In a 2006 opinion for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit, then-Judge Samuel Alito stressed that screening procedures must be both “minimally intrusive” and “effective” – in other words, they must be “well-tailored to protect personal privacy,” and they must deliver on their promise of discovering serious threats. Alito upheld the practices at an airport checkpoint where passengers were first screened with walk-through magnetometers and then, if they set off an alarm, with hand-held wands. He wrote that airport searches are reasonable if they escalate “in invasiveness only after a lower level of screening disclose[s] a reason to conduct a more probing search.”

While technically not in the Constitution, the Supreme Court has found interstate travel to be “a right so elementary was conceived from the beginning to be a necessary concomitant of the stronger Union the Constitution created. In any event, freedom to travel throughout the United States has long been recognized as a basic right under the Constitution.” (United States v. Guest (1966)

I can’t wait until someone tries this in court.

Key quote:

An American swimmer blamed the blazing heat, unusually warm surf and lack of medical and safety personnel on the course for the death of former University of Virginia swimmer Fran Crippen, 26, in an open-water race Saturday in the United Arab Emirates.

Unfortunately, that sounds all too much like the Dubai I know …

Anyway, I took it upon myself this morning to Photoshop a few more screens for BP. Hope they like them:

Landon, you might recall, ran against FDR in 1936’s presidential election – the most lopsided election in the history of the United States in terms of electoral votes (I don’t want to spoil it, but FDR creamed him).

Additionally the 1936 presidential election, you might recall, was the one in which Maine lost its place as the bellwether presidential elections.

For the hundred years prior Maine had almost consistently predicted the Presidential winner. See, back then our statewide elections were in September. In the presidential election years we oftentimes voted in the governor or senators from the party that would go on to win the presidential election. The political wisdom of the time became “As Maine goes, so goes the nation.”

Then 1936 happened.

Only Maine and Vermont voted for Landon.

Thus the phrase jokingly became “As goes Maine, so goes Vermont.”

Anyway, check out Milbank’s article.

Ken Tucker at Entertainment Weekly (“Jay Leno reclaims ‘The Tonight Show,’ Letterman acknowledges the return“) starts off with, well, some of that cynicism that Conan warned us about:

Jay Leno took back The Tonight Show from Conan O’Brien on Monday night, saying, “It’s good to be home.” Ha-ha-ha, oh, oh, I get it: Conan was a bully who kicked poor Jay out of his own house and stayed on as a squatter until the police (i.e., NBC) gave Jay back his property! Justice prevails!

Mmm snark!

The Washington Post (“Leno’s return to ‘Tonight’ gives off victorious air“), however, can’t seem to pick a side of the fence to be on:

In the end, Leno is talented in the most mediocre of ways, and this gives viewers great comfort. His big win here is a win for the middle of the road.

So, is that bad? Or good? Or … what?

The Los Angeles Times (“Jay Leno returns to ‘The Tonight Show’“) does what it does best, plays the middle of the road while dropping clever pop references:

It was quintessential Leno, man of the people, and after the new desk was unveiled, it did seem as if the last seven months were, if not a dream, then a sort of parallel universe, similar to this season’s “Lost.”

James Poniewozik at Time (“Jay Leno’s Long Nightmare Is Over“), who I felt eviscerated Leno in his cover story back in the autumn (“Jay Leno Is the Future of TV. Seriously“) veers into cynicism as well:

To be fair, Leno and NBC have a delicate task with the relaunch of the Tonight Show: making a premiere event of something that viewers were watching less than a year ago, without too many awkward reminders of what came between. At one point, Leno referred to his guest tomorrow, Sarah Palin, saying that she’s “never been on a late night show.” Palin appeared last year on Conan O’Brien’s Tonight (as a walk-on, not a scheduled guest, which she was on SNL). But, as we know, Conan O’Brien never existed.

(Incidentally, and maybe I’ve beaten this point to death, but would any of the Leno fans who complained about “that immature Conan O’Brien” care to explain to me the maturity and sophistication of Jay’s “World’s Tightest Pants” segment? Update: For those of you who missed it—extreme tight shot of someone’s wedgified butt crack. I realize I’m losing a lot of the nuance by summarizing.)

But the end-all, be-all of snark came from Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon (“Leno’s late-night comeback“):

And then, seemingly hours later, it was over. All that was missing was a celebratory drink out of Conan O’Brien’s skull. In your face, America.

Wow.

I kind of wish it was a busier news day. That there were more stories about “The Bachelor” and “Dancing wth the Stars” and “The Marriage Ref”. Something about the Academy Awards. Celebrity drama of the Britney or Paris Hilton kind. C’mon. Anything but more snarky Jay Leno stories …