Friday, May 08, 2009
Oh my awesome!

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder and former Red Sox crybaby Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games yesterday after failing a drug test.

Reportedly the drug used by Ramirez is human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a women's fertility drug used by steroid users to restart testosterone production after a steroid cycle.

In a woman's body, hCG is made after conception by the developing embryo. It's actually what those home pregnancy kits test for.

Yes, the 2009 Dodgers were brought down by a $15 Clear Blue Easy test kit from Rite Aid.

Of course, Manny isn't going softly into the night. He blamed the result on medication prescribed to him by a doctor for a "personal health issue."

Um ... who ever thought I'd be saying this ... but maybe Manny Ramirez is really pregnant?

What if Junior is his favorite movie? What if he wants to get knocked up like Schwarzenegger?

Homeboy is rich enough to make that happen. And at 36 years old, he's not getting any younger ...

But in all seriousness, what are the chances that he never doped before July 31, 2008? To be fair his 2008 Dodgers career was outstanding - a .396 batting average, 17 home runs, and 53 RBI. But this seriously taints the Red Sox in 2004 and 2007.

I think, out of retribution, Manny should have to name the baby "Theo".
 
posted by Josh at 7:06 AM |


1 Comments:


At 11:54 PM, Blogger Coffee Maker

now that Manny has half the season off he can go home to his private island and wallow while he sips iced tea and works on his tan