I didn't realize that the new Maine Red Claws NBA Development League team had a logo yet, and then today we were in Olympia Sports and there's a sweatshirt:



Oddly, it seems the logo was announced on April 30 ("Maine Red Claws unveil logo") yet the official announcement that they are a farm club of the Boston Celtics was only yesterday ("Red Claws, Celtics make their partnership official").

Weird.

Never in a billion years - Dubai wants to host the 2020 Olympic games.

Never in a billion years.

So I'd read how baseball's Tampa Bay Devil Rays attendance is quite poor - how last week's rematch of the 2008 World Series could only muster a half-full Tropicana Field.

But I just saw this article from last week about the NHL: "Signs show Tampa market unfriendly to Lightning".

Apparently Lightning games were "below 90 percent capacity on average" for the season.

Yikes.

This gets me wondering about the Bucs and the ... huh, they don't have a basketball team, do they? Isn't it weird how Florida can have more hockey teams than basketball teams? It's just wrong, really.

Anyway, you just have to wonder if people in Tampa just don't like going to sports.

Dang!

But think about it, that would have been an upset to rival the 2004 Red Sox (at least, the Sox versus the Yankees in the ALCS) or the 1980 US Hockey Team.

At the very least the world would have to consider calling it "soccer" ...

Fifty years ago today Disney's live-action Darby O'Gill and the Little People was released. 

This is one of my brother's favorite films.

Remember Michael Joslin, that American mercenary "security consultant" who was incarcerated in Dubai for having guns and drugs (see US Mercenary In Dubai Jail)?

Well, in case you were losing any sleep over him, he's now home safe in Delaware County, Pennsylvania after two months in lockup.

Safe, and mad. Yes, apparently he's upset at the security company for firing him because he broke the law and the terms of his contract.

Yeah, wrap your head around that one.

Anyway, I can only assume that Joslin will likely be the first and last citizen of Delaware County, Pennsylvania to ever leave Delaware County, Pennsylvania.

Meanwhile, in other Dubai news, Paris Hilton's hotel room was bugged this week. However, she's still staying over there.

Los Angeles nightclub owners, coke dealers and Valtrex producers have requested a meeting with the United Arab Emirates’ ambassador to discuss returning the heiress to the United States.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hailed the plan as a way to offset the state's $24.3 billion budget deficit and offered his full support, telling the California National Guard to take her with force. "Run! Quigly! Get to tha choppah!"

Wow, maybe I do need to join Facebook. Apparently everyone, and I do mean everyone is doing it: "Sheikh Mohammed joins Facebook".

Mom just emailed, Walt Disney World is having an Annual Passholder sneak preview of the Hall of Presidents with the new Barack Obama Audio-Animatronics figure this Sunday.

Disney and Obama. Can it get any better?

Official opening is, of course, the 4th of July weekend.

Really?

A Bolivian news channel confused footage from Lost flight 815's crash with the Air France crash.

Really?

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Did you see this? The USA Mens' Soccer Team just beat Spain 2-0!

We're going to the Conderations Cup, baby!

I know you probably don't care about soccer much, but check out these facts:

• The US team was ranked 14th.
  
  
• Spain won the Euro 2008 (which you might remember from Newlywed in Dubai's Spain Won).
  
  
• In fact, they'd set an international record with 15 straight victories.
  
  
• The first goal scored today was the first goal against Spain in 451 minutes of play - and just the third goal in 17 games.
  
  
• This is the first time the US has advanced to the FIFA final since FIFA started in 1916.
  
  
• On Sunday the US will play either defending champion Brazil or host South Africa.

The saddest part of this? The stadium in Johannesburg where the final will take place is named (shudder) "Coca-Cola Park".

U-S-A?

U-S...

Just read something frightfully wrong in this Boston Globe article: "Smithsonian displays Red Sox World Series mementos".

So the Smithsonian Institution added Jon Lester's jersey from the 2007 World Series and a third base from the 2004 World Series to its collection that also, as the article states, "includes the 1814 flag that inspired the Star-Spangled Banner and the lap desk Thomas Jefferson used to draft the Declaration of Independence in 1776".

Team President Larry Lucchino said today, "This is a hallowed place."

And then we get to the wrong-wrong-wrong part: "the ceremony today included Lucchino and Wally the Green Monster as the museum put the artifacts on public display."

Wait, what?

Wally the Green Monster? The costumed walk-around character?

Are you kidding me?!

Yeah, that's showing respect to the hallowed place of the Star-Spangled Banner and Thomas Jefferson. Inviting a third-string-Hanna Barbara knockoff to the nation's capital. Jeesh.


Here's Wally and Mr. Met - who's actually a hell of a lot more historic than Wally, as he was invented in 1963 - one year after the Mets began play - while Wally's only been around since '97

"Technology," computer pioneer Alan Kay once said, "is anything that was invented after you were born."

For the last few weeks my folks have been cleaning out the attic in my childhood home. In the boxes and bales they've found every manner of trinket and trophy from Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Elementary School - it's been a fun meander down memory lane.

Yesterday my Mom found a letter from my paternal grandmother written the week I was born. In it she describes how she and my Papa stayed up until 2 am on the night my folks went into the hospital, and then woke up at 6 am the next day, eager with anticipation of my monumental birth.

Papa called the hospital that morning ("forenoon" was the exact word my Nana used), and found no news. Later that day my Dad called them to share the news that I had been born in the afternoon. They, in turn, called my aunt who lives away, and they left a message in what sounded like her college dorm or boarding house about my triumphant birth.

Unfortunately shortly thereafter a large truck moving a house came down their narrow little street knocking a telephone pole and severing all of the wires to their little Cape Cod house.

They were cut off from the world.

After a few unsuccessful tries to my grandparents, eventually my aunt-from-away called my other aunt and got the news of my glorious birth.

But here's where I get to my point: Wow is it easier today!

Today we have new fathers with iPhones snapping photos of their newborns and emailing them within minutes. A sister of a friend in Portland had a baby two weeks ago and was on Facebook herself within the hour.

Shoot, a month ago I called a friend to see if he and his pregnant wife were busy, if they wanted to hang out - and they were in the hospital in labor. The baby was born an hour after I called.

That's progress, baby!

None of this phone-tree information distributing. No hastily scribbled Post-It Note from your screwy roommate (wait, when were Post-It Notes invented?) And hopefully no large truck moving a house will take down the cell phone towers in your neighborhood.

To me iPhones, cell phones, Facebook accounts, email, answering machines ... these are technology.

Phones, paper birth announcements, heck, the newspaper - not technology.

Just when you didn't think Pixar's new film Up couldn't get any sadder:

"Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'"

Jeesh.

Wow, did you see the new Major League Baseball app for the iPhone?

Starting tomorrow, MLB.com At Bat™ 2009 will feature live baseball games streaming to your phone.

Live game, on your phone.

It also features MLB.com Gameday Audio™ that allows you to listen to live games on your phone, too.

(I used the internet version of this while I was in Dubai).

As someone who doesn't have cable, this would be well worth the $9.99 fee.

Granted, I also don't have an iPhone at this time, either, so I guess I might as well hang on to my ten bucks.

But still, I have a feeling that this is the future, my friends.

Live game, on your phone.

Wow.

How'd I miss this story? Apparently last month an American "security contractor" (i.e. Blackwater-esque mercenary) was arrested in Dubai for having a gun and prescription drugs: "'Hell on earth' continues for man stuck in Dubai jail".

Guess it sucks there, if you could imagine that.

This week I saw two baseball clips from earlier in this decade, but recent events brought them into a whole new light. Both involve Roger Clemens and Manny Ramírez, two of the players implicated in the recent steroids scandal that's rocked Major League Baseball.

The other day I rewatched the 2004 Red Sox video Faith Rewarded in anticipation of the Red Sox / Yankees series this week. At the mid-point we get to the 2004 All-Star Game. Pitcher-for-hire Roger Clemens, this time playing for the Houston Astros, started the game. Well, he actually only pitched one inning, he was that bad. Regardless, our steroid-infused friend gave up a monster home run to no-doubt also-juiced Manny Ramírez.

So my question is - if both pitcher and hitter are on the dope, is that fair? Does it even out?

Then at the gym the other day on not-ESPN the Best Damn Sports Show had the "50 Best Sports Fights". Or something like that. I guess it was more like the "50 Best Weird Moments". You know, like when the baseball bounced off Jose Canseco's head and over the fence. When Rosanne Barr sung the National Anthem and grabbed her crotch. Tyson and the ear biting. Things of that nature.

Anyway, in the top ten was Game 3 of the 2003 American League Championship Series. New York Yankees at the Boston Red Sox. This was the game where, during the bench-clearing brawl, diminutive Dominican Pedro Martinez flipped 72 year old bench coach Don Zimmer on his head. For the entire story, check out: "Tempers flare during ALCS Game 3".

Sure, you remember it, it was bizarre, horrible and ... funny. But what caused the fight?

Can you imagine Roger Clemens was pitching for the Yankees?

And guess who was at-bat?

Yep, Manny Ramírez.

Can you believe it?

Manny didn't like the high inside pitch from Clemens, and charged the mound. Benches emptied. Septuagenarian bench coaches get up-ended.

Gosh, I can't believe that they say steroids make you aggressive. I should find who says that and rip his throat out. ROARRR!

I don't get this - does New York Times writer Jack Curry think Red Sox pitcher Tim Wakefield should be an All-Star, or not?

Check out: "Wakefield Takes Aim at All-Star Game".

Wow is The Onion genius: "New Terminator Movie Brings J.D. Salinger Out Of Hiding".

So by now I've read about 37 articles about the new Yankee Stadium and the home run windfall it has produced.

The fences are shorter. Distances are fudged. The open concourse in right field creates a wind tunnel. Everyone has a theory.

But yesterday I read a crazy statistic - so far this season hitters have clubbed 105 homers there in 29 games.

In 2008 at the original Yankee Stadium batters hit only 160 homers all year.

Dang.

Have you seen this yet: "Dear Pixar, From All The Girls With Band-Aids On Their Knees"?

I have to say, I totally agree with the author.

I'd like to take it a step further, though. I think that in those ten films Pixar's pretty much come up with one female character.

Toy Story 2's Jessie, the Yodeling Cowgirl, The Incredibles' Helen Parr / Elastigirl and Up's Ellie are all pretty much the same. Each is a strong, red / auburn haired tomboy with a feisty if not downright aggressive nature.

I'm not saying it's the same as having Phil Harris voice Baloo in The Jungle Book, Little John in Robin Hood and Thomas O'Malley in The Aristocats, but there are certainly similarities.

You have to wonder if Pixar chief creative officer John Lasseter's wife is a petite, spunky redhead?

Personally I think that Jessie, Helen and Ellie even all look the same:

This is pretty amusing: "League To Start Boston Celtics In Place Of Magic For Game 3".

So did you see this article over the weekend: "Maine shows off giant lobster roll"?

Yikes.

Reminds me how Dubai is always chasing those poor Guinness World Records people around.

You might remember, besides having the world's tallest building, the world's largest mall, the world's largest hotel, the world's largest arch bridge and the world's largest superyacht, that Dubai has some of the smaller large records, too. For example:

• world's largest ribbon
  
  
• world's largest date dish
  
  
• world's longest wooden chopsticks
  
  
• world's largest incense burner
  
  
• world's largest shopping bag
  
  
• world's tallest Croquembouche
  
  
• world's largest paper clip
  
  
• world's largest calendar
  
  
• world's largest mattress
  
  
• world's largest cylindrical chocolate bar
  
  
• world's largest human national flag
  
  
• world's biggest buffet
  
  
• world's largest fireworks display

Impressed yet? I know I am. Although I'm still not sure what a 'Croquembouche' is ...

Seventy-five years ago today Disney's animated short The Wise Little Hen was released. 

Why's this news?  Because that was the debut of Donald Duck. 

Yes, today is Donald Duck's 75th birthday!

Happy birthday, you old quacker!

Now go put on some pants.

Really?!

Today is the 25th anniversary of the first Ghostbusters movie?!

Frick!

I'm old!

Yesterday three Netflix rental DVDs arrived in my post office box - and I won't be able to get to them until the post office opens at 7 am tomorrow. It's a tragic shame.

See, I was busy in the morning yesterday and missed the three-hour window that the post office lobby is open. Yes, they lock that place up like a drum at noon. What, are they afraid we're going to sleep in there or something? Not very convenient for those of us with plans before lunch on a Saturday morning.

Anyway, I guess I just have to wait until tomorrow to get disc two of Flight of the Conchords, disc one of WGBH's Evolution and Boston Red Sox: 100 Years of Baseball History - which I just realized was made in 2001, so it'll probably be light on footage from 2004 and 2007's World Serieses.

Did you ever watch that sitcom NewsRadio with Phil Hartman? The best episode of that show was "Super Karate Monkey Death Car". (Jimmy James had his autobiography translated back into English from a Japanese translation, wackiness ensues).

Anyway, in the B-story to this already great episode an efficiency expert giving the radio station employees a lie detector test, and we learn that uptight Lisa Miller once committed a federal offense:

Dave: I'm afraid to ask, but what was your federal offense?
Lisa: Breaking and entering.
Dave: That's not a federal offense.
Lisa: It is if it's a post office.
Dave: Oh, Lisa.
Lisa: I had to find out the scores to my SATs, and it was a long weekend.

Oh, I know where she's coming from.

You know, I think I'm going to go put NewsRadio in my Netflix queue.

Four Dubai stories for you today. They increase in annoyingness. Be wary.

First off, Dubai is upgrading it's oil refinery and will finally be self-sufficient for gasoline by the end of the year.

Huh. That kind of makes sense. Not sure why it took so long, but it makes sense.

Before, they would have to ship out their oil to get it refined, then ship it back to use. Seems like a few extra steps in the process.

Next, apparently the golf course Tiger Woods is designing in Dubai is on hold.

The Al Ruwaya Golf Course at "The Tiger Woods Dubai" was slated to open in September of this year, after groundbreaking in June of 2007.

But now, due to the economic meltdown the course opening will be delayed at least six months.

Of course, that won't harm it from winning awards. You might remember that the course won 'Best Golf Development’ distinction at the Arabian Property Awards in June of last year, a full 15 months before it was even scheduled to be open.

How that's possibly, I'm not even sure. Did Tatweer present the awards? Are they sponsored by Sheikh Mo? No, no nepotism in Dubai.

In other massively annoying news, apparently Paris Hilton has a TV show called "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" and now well, "Paris Hilton bringing her reality series to Dubai".

Let's see, on a list of things I give two shits about, Paris Hilton making a show in Dubai ranks somewhere above "what the weather is like in Omaha" and below "what Dick Cheney ate for dinner".

Frick, the only way I'd watch this is if a volcano erupted and engulfed both in a firey mess. (After, of course, my wife escaped safely to Abu Dhabi. Or at least Sharjah.)

Although, to be fair, it does get Paris Hilton out of the United States for awhile. And that's something.


Lastly, the low-cost carrier FlyDubai started service on June 2nd.

They have two planes and only fly to Lebanon. Yet this is still news.

I'm beginning to think that if a famous person / a Lebanese person blinks in Dubai it's news.

Okay, not sure if all of you who are having problems are using RSS, but if you are, I made a new RSS feed.

I think.

I'm like, 94% sure it's going to work.

Maybe.

How 'bout you try it and get back to me if it doesn't work?

Hmm, I've had word from two different people today that they're not able to get through to this site since I changed it the other day (see New Website).

So my question: is anyone getting through? Is the Blogger redirect screen not working? Is anyone reading my funny, funny jokes?

The mash-up to end all mash-ups:

So wait - Kurt Cobain of Nirvana died on April 5, 1994 - which was about 15 years ... and two months ago.

Were there any tributes back in April? Did I miss them? Do people realize how revolutionary Nirvana really was?

Weird.

In front of the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre China is going into overdrive to quash dissent: "China rounds up dissidents, blocks Twitter".


Twitter jokes aside, doesn't this just prove that even though over the last two decades the Communist Party has ushered in capitalist production with a slew of multinational companies, growing the trade surplus in our nation's pursuit of "everyday low prices", that they're still the freakin' Communist Party?

Shouldn' someone do something about this?

Bill Simmons has an article in ESPN: The Magazine that breaks my Red Sox-lovin' heart: "It's hard to say goodbye to David Ortiz".

"It's been a sports experience unlike anything I can remember. Red Sox fans refuse to turn against Ortiz. They just can't. They owe him too much for 2004 and 2007. It's like turning on Santa Claus or happy hour. Every Ortiz appearance is greeted with supportive cheers, every Ortiz failure is greeted with awkward silence."

It's so sad because more than likely it's true.

Hey! Glad you found us - hope that the 'Blogger Redirecting' page didn't scare you too badly. This place is shiny and new, it should be free of spam, viruses and other forms of malware.

Anyway, I've massively revamped joshedwards.com as you'll quickly see.

Along with moving this blog, I've also collected my blog's Greatest Hits, all of my Photo Galleries (including those from Walt Disney World) as well as other helpful Links.

So go explore (especially the photo galleries, those look really neat now) and let me know if anything doesn't look quite right.

Enjoy!

I just read this fun-fact, then re-read it.

In 1910 what city had more millionaires than any other city in the world?

If you said "Duluth, Minnesota" then ... you win!

Yep, how crazy is that? It's all about the iron ore, baby.

Don't believe me? Check out Fortune Magazine's "The next iron rush".

Did you know that the word "Heroin" is a genericized trademark? The morphine substitute (diacetylmorphine) was registered in 1898 by the German Friedrich Bayer & Company. The name comes from the Greek heros because of the euphoric feeling the drug provides.

Check it out, I'm not lying: Heroin.

The reason Bayer lost some of the trademark rights? Yep, you guessed it - it's just another thing we took away from the Germans in the Treaty of Versailles following World War I.

The same thing with "Aspirin".

This website is pretty awesome - the guy does fan art of famous tv & film characters and celebrities in the style of The Simpsons.

Check out: Springfield Punx.