Argh! I hate Conservative pundit Ann Coulter so much!

I mean, I know that she, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and the rest of that gaggle exist. I just try and stay away from those loons. But then she has to go and write a column in the mainstream media - oops, sorry, I mean the Obama-loving, God-hating, Liberal Media - and it's like she took a crap in my corn flakes.

The poop in my petit dejeuner today was her Sarah Palin bit for Time's Most Influential People. "Palin is a threat to liberals because she believes in God and country and family - all values liberals pretend to believe in but secretly detest." Shit like that. You know the drill.

But then she crosses the line with her next sentence. "There's a reason there's no 'Stop Olympia Snowe before it's too late!' movement."

Argh! Are you serious?!

Olympia Snowe, of course, is a Republican Senator from Democratic Maine. My Democratic Maine.

And right there, shouldn't that say something? A Republican senator from a Democratic state? Ms. Snowe isn't partisan and Maine's not partisan - for the last fourteen years we've sent the best person for the job to Washington, regardless of party affiliation.

But that's the problem with these Conservative pundits - they want politicians who toe the party line with blind allegiance. Guns good, abortion bad, war good, gays bad ...

You know, like Sarah Palin. Someone who's down with shootin' but not abortin', someone who's all faux-folksy in her thousand dollar suits.

Snowe's not folksy, and I'm pretty sure she's never shot a moose. She did, however, vote to acquit Clinton in his impeachment trial. She also supports stem cell research and gay marriage, but endorsed John McCain for president of the United States last year. She is a wild card in that she does what she thinks is right.

Does that make her a RINO ("Republican In Name Only")? A "Rockefeller Republican"? Or maybe just the best person for the job?

I think Ann Coulter is just upset over Snowe's New York Times Op-Ed piece two weeks ago ("We Didn’t Have to Lose Arlen Specter"): "Ideological purity is not the ticket back to the promised land of governing majorities - indeed, it was when we began to emphasize social issues to the detriment of some of our basic tenets as a party that we encountered an electoral backlash."

Ahh, the logic! It stings! It burns!!

And Ann Coulter would rather incite than unite.

That, and fudge in America's Fruity Pebbles.